Wot So Funee? 7 Where Do Babies Come From?

Wot So Funee?A while ago we had one of those conversations with Mummy. Being a brother and sister combo we are well-aware of the differences between boys and girls. Girls are in charge, boys must learn to do as they’re told. Oh, and boys have willies. Because they need something to fiddle with. Girls have long hair for that.

Anyway, it occurred to me to ask how come boys can’t have babies. Mummy, thinking she’s super-smart, and heeding the advice to answer all such questions honestly, with no more detail than necessary, gives me technically correct answers:

Well, boys have two holes, one for poo and one for wee. A tube called a urethra takes the wee from the bladder, which is here *demonstrates* to the hole in the penis (she means willy – why can’t she just say so?).

Girls have a bladder and a urethra leading to their wee hole in their bottom. But as well as the holes for poo and wee, girls have an extra hole called a vagina. This is where babies come out. They grow in the uterus. Only girls have a uterus.

I take all this on board for a moment. “So how do babies get in there? Is it an egg?” (I heard this somewhere once). Yes, that’s right, says Mummy. “So….. do you eat it?” Much lip-twitching from Mummy later, she goes on to explain:

Girls have ovaries like sacs with lots of little eggs in them. When a woman is ready to have a baby, an egg travels down tubes called fallopian tubes, and settles in the uterus, where it grows.

The Bug starts to talk gibberish about bottoms at this stage, and I go a deep pink colour and change the subject. Mummy doesn’t push it and we all move on.

Yesterday, we were all having a discussion about how food turns into poo. (Yes, I know we do talk about poo a lot in our house). We have a great book about how the body works so Mummy offers to get that out and explain the process. My reply?

Ok Mummy, as long as we don’t have to talk about peanuts and eurekas!

"Where Babies Come From"

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26 thoughts on “Wot So Funee? 7 Where Do Babies Come From?”

  1. Utterly brilliant! You were v good at explaining the whole thing – I’ve always fudged the answers so far – but luckily haven’t been asked in too much detail!

  2. Brilliant! That is a classic funnee! The whole baby making thing has alot of mileage but fair play to mummy for explaining it all in such a grown up way!!

  3. Brilliant! Everything is in poo talk in our house at the moment too. Little one “poo poo poo poo poo poo poo” to the tune of twinkle twinkle *looks around to big brother for encouragement* Big brother joins in. I leave room and shut the door on them. That’s about the state of it ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Ha! I’d love to just come round and sit in th corner of your lounge and listen to you all yakking away! Will be doing my funnee in a bit – apologies I didn’t do it last week (what with the you-know-what) anyway I am back and on form!

  5. I heard once that kids are here to test us, but they must also be here to give us the very best in humour! That is simply hilarious!! Must remember to retell that one several times today… ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Dear GG

    My mummy loved your post and was inspired to ask myself (age 5, last week) my big brother, Chelsea boy (age 6) and my baby sister (Baby Cakes) age 3 where babies come from to see what we had learned from her teachings.

    Chelsea Boy started the account by stating that daddy puts his willy in mummy’s tummy button, I soon put him straight about that, of course he doesn’t, he puts it in a little whole in mummy’s bottom and the person comes out.

    Baby cakes added the fact that babies only grow in mummy’s tummies and mummy was quite pleased that her teachings have paid off and we have improved from running round the house pointing at our willies saying ‘babies come from there’ or baby cakes thinking she already has a baby in her tummy because she is a girl.

    Mummy did however seem quite anxious about where daddies willy might get put next!

    Take care

    Love little Rhino

    • Yo GG

      Mummy has just reminded me to tell you, recently me
      And big bro (Chelsea boy) got a bit obsessed as to how the babies got out. Mummy kept saying ‘they just pop out’ but we thought there had to be more to it than that, then mummy was lucky enough to be invited to our new cousins birth so me and the bro thought that this was the perfect chance to find out what goes on. We moaned for ages about how unfair it was that she could go and we couldn’t and then begged for mummy to film it so we could see, mummy thought this wad pretty funny, but aunty seemed to get pretty cross about the whole idea. Anyways mummy went to see the baby born and said it was amazing – making the whole affair even more curious, but then we got lucky. Mummy always makes us watch animal programs on the TV for I am going to be a Zoo keeper when I grow up, but this time it worked out well as we saw a baby dolphin being born, with that Chelsea boy and I both looked at each other and said ‘oh so that’s how it happens’ and haven’t thought about it since.
      So the moral of the story is, if you want to see how babies are made and arrive don’t plan on filming your aunty and uncle but tune into national geographical channel as it’s all there to see

      Take care and happy viewing
      Little Rhino x

      • Oh Rhino now I am really confused! Willies in the belly button? That sounds like some kind of weird ritual! Must watch this nature programme you talk about but it’s not easy to avoid the bit where the Lions eat the really cute gazelle alive, and that always leaves me mentally scarred for days!

  7. Hi ๐Ÿ™‚
    Thanx for the lovely comment on my wot so funee.
    I’ve shown the post to my mum and she said she remembers it well & often talks to my dad about it!

    I tweet at 3angels4sure coz of course my boys are all angels 4 sure ๐Ÿ™‚ I love twitter and tweet all day long usually!

    Oh I loved your funee!You are brave going down that slippery slope & what cute words she came up with,they are *keepers* ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. V funny especially what boys fiddle with and what girls fiddle with! Cannot believe how resourceful you are having that explanation up your sleeve!

    • Oh she keeps me on my toes so I have to stay one step ahead! One of these days she’ll floor me and I’ll come undone ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. hello!,I like your writing very a lot! percentage we communicate more about your article on AOL? I need a specialist in this house to unravel my problem. Maybe that’s you! Looking forward to peer you.

  10. Ha ha! Brilliant. Being pregnant there has been lots of questions from Amy about growing babies. I told her they grew from an egg and daddy helped make the baby by giving me a special seed. ‘But how does the see get in your tummy?’ Amy asked.

    Errr, umm.

    ‘Oh I know,’ she piped up, ‘It crawls over to you in the middle of the night.’

    ‘Yes, yes it does.’


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