Wot So Funee?A while ago we had one of those conversations with Mummy. Being a brother and sister combo we are well-aware of the differences between boys and girls. Girls are in charge, boys must learn to do as they’re told. Oh, and boys have willies. Because they need something to fiddle with. Girls have long hair for that.

Anyway, it occurred to me to ask how come boys can’t have babies. Mummy, thinking she’s super-smart, and heeding the advice to answer all such questions honestly, with no more detail than necessary, gives me technically correct answers:

Well, boys have two holes, one for poo and one for wee. A tube called a urethra takes the wee from the bladder, which is here *demonstrates* to the hole in the penis (she means willy – why can’t she just say so?).

Girls have a bladder and a urethra leading to their wee hole in their bottom. But as well as the holes for poo and wee, girls have an extra hole called a vagina. This is where babies come out. They grow in the uterus. Only girls have a uterus.

I take all this on board for a moment. “So how do babies get in there? Is it an egg?” (I heard this somewhere once). Yes, that’s right, says Mummy. “So….. do you eat it?” Much lip-twitching from Mummy later, she goes on to explain:

Girls have ovaries like sacs with lots of little eggs in them. When a woman is ready to have a baby, an egg travels down tubes called fallopian tubes, and settles in the uterus, where it grows.

The Bug starts to talk gibberish about bottoms at this stage, and I go a deep pink colour and change the subject. Mummy doesn’t push it and we all move on.

Yesterday, we were all having a discussion about how food turns into poo. (Yes, I know we do talk about poo a lot in our house). We have a great book about how the body works so Mummy offers to get that out and explain the process. My reply?

Ok Mummy, as long as we don’t have to talk about peanuts and eurekas!

"Where Babies Come From"

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