We talked last week about how scary it can feel when your teenager has panic attacks, and my guest gave some practical advice for parents and teens who are going through this. This week, my guest tells me about his own anxiety as a young teenager and says that – although it can be debilitating – it’s not something we should panic about.
Owen Wood is currently best known as one half of the duo who won TV’s Race Against The World in 2024. With his partner, friend Alfie Watts, Owen says he had the experience of a lifetime on the show, but it wasn’t without its stressful moments. I pointed out to him that he always seemed to be the most calm half of the pair, with Alfie usually showing more overt signs of anxiety. But Owen told me that he really struggled with the transition from primary to secondary school, on account of his own anxiety.
You don’t have to fear anxiety for life
As a mother, my own anxiety kicked in at the idea of a teenager having anxiety in the first years of secondary school, but when I asked Owen if this had led to serious problems as he went through the school, he surprised me by saying that – with the right support, and an attitude of not letting fear get him down – he’s now, at age 22, reached a place where his anxiety is much more manageable.
Listen to what Owen has to say about how he manages his anxiety now, travelling solo and even learning to pilot a commercial plane.
Listen to the podcast on anxiety as a teenage boy
Who is Owen Wood?
After winning Race Across The World, Owen is training as a commercial airline pilot whilst working to fund future travels. He’s also an ambassador for The Mix, a charity which offers essential support to under 25’s, including free counselling. You can connect with Owen on Instagram.
Watch the podcast
Podcast transcript episode 106
Helen Wills:
22-year-old Owen Wood is here today to talk to me about mental health in young boys, something that doesn’t often get talked about. Owen lives in Hertfordshire and is currently training to be a commercial airline pilot. However, you might know his name from season four of Race Across the World, which he won along with his friend Alfie Watts. After winning on the show last year, he went straight back out to Southeast Asia to do it all over again, hopefully with a phone and a bit more cash this time. He’s now planning on doing the same in Australia later this year.
You might be forgiven for thinking that Owen owes his travel confidence to a carefree attitude to life, but he talks openly about his struggles with anxiety as a teenager. He’s now an ambassador for teenage mental health charity The Mix, where he hopes to support other young men and boys with anxiety. Owen, thank you for giving us your time today.
Owen:
Thank you.
Helen Wills:
Welcome to the podcast.
Owen:
Thank you.
Helen Wills:
It’s so good to have you here because, well, I mean, we’re going to talk about the show. You must be bored with talking about it by now, but I’m still really excited about it.
Owen:
No, go for any questions, far away.
Helen Wills:
We’ve had so many episodes on this podcast about teenagers struggling with anxiety, and it’s heartbreaking for me. I know there are common themes around it, but we don’t often get to talk to young men and boys who’ve experienced anxiety. And yet, my sense is that—having a son and a daughter, I’m around teenage boys as well as teenage girls—there’s plenty of anxiety amongst boys too. Girls don’t have the monopoly on it, right?
Owen:
Yeah, I think the stigma around boys’ mental health has always been very different to girls’ and women’s mental health. Boys aren’t really as open to expressing it, especially when they’re younger. They tend to hold it in, and that can often carry into post-teenage life, even into young adulthood and middle age. There has always been that stigma around not really talking about it. But I think, very slowly, in today’s world, that’s being broken down, and those hurdles and boundaries are starting to fade. Boys are starting to feel more open to talking about it, which is obviously a good thing.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, it’s starting to shift. The stigma about saying you’re in therapy or need support with mental health is less now, but I feel like it’s still there for everyone. There are still barriers to talking, and that’s why things like The Mix, and you and others talking openly about your own issues, are so helpful because it normalises it. It helps people realise this isn’t something you have because you’re weird or something’s wrong with you; it’s like physical health. Everyone gets a cold, everyone has anxiety at times, it’s really normal. But being able to talk about it is how you get support.
Helen Wills:
Is that what you found? I’m jumping ahead a bit, but did you have people to talk to?
Owen:
Yeah, of course. You need people to talk to. You’ve got your family, your friends, but a lot of people might not have that, or they might have it and feel like they can’t be open to their parents, brothers, sisters, or friends. They might feel like they can’t talk about that sort of stuff. So that’s why, like you mentioned, services like The Mix and other mental health charities are really good nowadays. Everything’s online, especially since teenagers are always online.
Helen Wills:
Mm-hmm.
Owen:
It’s good for them to have an outlet like The Mix. It’s an online service that can be accessed easily. That’s one of the many ways we’re slowly breaking down the stigma about not talking about mental health.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, that’s a really good point. And I’ll put the links to The Mix in the show notes, but The Mix offers online counselling in various formats, right?
Owen:
Yeah, it’s an online service, and they provide information on pretty much any teenage issue, including mental health. It’s just a really good overall service for teenagers and anything they might need advice or help with.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, it’s a great service.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
So, Owen, take us back a bit. What was it like for you growing up? What are your earliest memories? How did you get through junior school, and tell us about when you landed in secondary school, which is where, as I understand it, your anxiety really began to kick in.
Owen:
Yeah, I don’t really remember much from primary school—nursery or junior school. I only have vague memories, and they’re all good ones. Just kicking around with my mates in the playground, learning how to count to 10.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, I get that.
Owen:
I don’t really remember much else. But like you said, getting to secondary school was when things shifted. That’s where a lot of the problems started for me. Transitioning into year seven, that’s when a wave of anxiety just hit me. I felt trapped in this system where I was constantly worrying about everything. No matter how much anyone told me not to worry, it just didn’t help. I was very fortunate to have people like my parents and certain teachers at school, but when you’re worrying that much, being told to just not worry about it doesn’t cut it. You need more than that.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, looking back, what do you think it was about starting secondary school that kickstarted all of that?
Owen:
I think I’m a lot different to how I was back then, so it’s hard to put myself in the mindset of year seven me. But the transition from primary to secondary school is a big jump. A lot of primary schools don’t prepare students well for that.
Helen Wills:
Mm-hmm.
Owen:
It’s a huge change. Moving to a new school with fewer friends—it’s tough. I’ve always been a more anxious person and a bigger overthinker than most people. That’s just who I am, but it’s about how you deal with that and overcome it.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, I guess it’s a big step for most people. I can remember, and I’m far too old to remember how I felt when I was 11, but I do clearly remember being really quite anxious in my first few years of secondary school until I found my people. It is such a shift.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
And it’s not just the size of the building and the volume of people you don’t know, is it?
Owen:
It’s just the complete environment change. You’re going from one normality to an alien world you’re not used to, and it takes time to get used to it. Some people settle in fine, but for me, it took about a year or two. I always had a good group of friends, my family around, and I was doing fine at school, so realistically, I had nothing to worry about.
Helen Wills:
Mm-hmm.
Owen:
But I was still more worried than 99% of the people at school. That’s just who I was. It’s about how you deal with that and how you overcome it.
Helen Wills:
So, how did you deal with it? Did you seek support at school?
Owen:
Yeah, my parents were my main source of support. There were support groups at school, and certain teachers who were really willing to help. But for me, I feel like I kind of just grew out of it. It was more of a gradual shift in my attitude rather than something that could be fixed quickly. Of course, the support from my parents and teachers helped, but it was really about time.
Helen Wills:
Hmm. So, do you still get moments of anxiety now as an adult?
Owen:
Yeah, definitely.
Owen
Yeah, I think, like I was saying earlier, I’m always going to be more of an overthinker or an anxious person than a lot of people. But it’s more about how you deal with it. I’m a lot less anxious and less of an overthinker than I was nine or ten years ago. It’s just because I’ve learned how to handle it better.
Helen Wills
Yeah.
Owen
Now that I’m growing up, I can see that 99% of the things I was worrying about either never happened, didn’t matter, or weren’t a big deal. So, it’s easier for me to say to people who are 13, 14, 15, “Don’t worry about it. Your exams in school don’t matter as much as you think.” Of course, it’s easy for me to say that, but telling a 13-year-old, they’re not going to believe it because they’re in the midst of exams. But now, I know how to deal with it. It’s easier, but I’ll always be more of an overthinker or anxious person. It’s just who I am.
Helen Wills
Yeah. It sounds like what you’re talking about is that with time, you learn to trust yourself and your own capabilities to handle what life throws at you.
Owen
Yeah, I think now, at 22, and seeing how everyone from school is doing different things, you realise you’re always on your own path. Everyone’s doing their own thing, and it doesn’t matter what they’re doing. You’ll get to where you want to be eventually. You just have to trust the process, trust what the universe is saying, or whatever. You just have to go with it. Everything happens for a reason.
Helen Wills
Yeah.
Owen
And if you just be a good person and do what you love, I believe you’ll get there. You’ll overcome a lot of the things you were worrying about.
Helen Wills
I love that. Yeah. It really is just about trusting yourself and knowing you can handle whatever comes your way.
Owen
Yeah, just back yourself.
Helen Wills
And I suppose the more you’re tested with situations that induce anxiety, the more practice you get, and the more experience you have, that tells you that you can handle whatever’s coming up next.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
Yeah.
Owen
Exactly. I can’t speak for myself two or three years ago, but in the past year or two, I’ve been throwing myself into situations like the race and the solo travelling I just did. I like trying new things, even if I don’t think they’ll go well. The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work, and then I know it doesn’t work. But best-case scenario, it works, and I’m glad I tried it. It’s about throwing yourself in at the deep end, even though it can be hard sometimes. I still feel apprehensive about some things, but it’s the best way to learn.
Helen Wills
It’s that whole cliché of “feel the fear and do it anyway,” isn’t it? It actually is true.
Owen
Yeah, and the more you do it, the more you realise that more stuff will go right than you think. It encourages you to do it again and again.
Helen Wills
Boom.
Owen
It just builds on itself. It’s always that first step that’s the hardest. But once you overcome that, each step becomes a little bit easier.
Helen Wills
Yeah, that makes sense.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
I remember watching the show and thinking you were pretty laid back, while Alfie seemed to be the one who was more stressed, and you were usually talking him down.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
And I didn’t get the sense that you were an anxious person. I definitely got the sense that Alfie was.
Owen
Yeah. Honestly, I surprised myself in that aspect because I thought I would be a lot more anxious. Of course, I was stressed out a lot of the time, but I didn’t show it as much. I knew that if I let my emotions show, especially on camera, I’d start thinking about them too much. So, I just controlled how I let them out, slowly and in a controlled way, to people like Alfie or the crew. That way, I didn’t get overwhelmed by them. I surprised myself by not stressing out 24/7.
Helen Wills
Right.
Owen
It worked out well because Alfie was a bit more stressed, and I was a bit more calm. We balanced each other out, which was needed on the show.
Helen Wills
You really did operate well as a pair.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
It sounds like you didn’t suppress your emotions, but you let them out in a thoughtful, considered way.
Owen
Yeah, I controlled how I let them out.
Helen Wills
That makes complete sense. We don’t have to process all our emotions at once and get scared of the outbursts. We can deal with them in a calm, thoughtful way.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
We don’t have to lock them inside us either.
Owen
No. But I understand that for a lot of people, two or three years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do that. Emotions are there for a reason, and controlling them is hard. If everyone could control their emotions, the world would be perfect, but it’s not. It’s taken me a while to understand how to do it and the benefits of it. But if I did the race two years ago, it would have been completely different.
Helen Wills
Yeah, the benefits of experience and learning.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
What was the scariest or most anxiety-inducing part of the show? Was there anything that particularly stood out?
Owen
It’s a weird feeling because you’re in this little bubble, stepping out of real life into the TV show. The only thing that matters is the race. Obviously, we wanted to win, which we did in the end, which was good. But being on camera was a big deal. I’d never done anything like that before. I’m still not massive into social media or being in the spotlight. It was good for a while, but it’s not really who I am. That part of it was the scariest – being known by so many people and having people form opinions about you. It’s just a weird feeling.
Helen Wills
Yeah, quite exposing, I imagine.
Owen
Yeah, exposing.
Helen Wills
It’s interesting that it wasn’t the mishaps or the new experiences that caused anxiety, but the social pressure of the situation.
Owen
Yeah. There were a lot of situations where I was anxious about reaching checkpoints or wondering if we’d be first, second, third, or fourth. But the excitement of the race was stronger for me. I found it exciting running around in different countries, chasing buses and trains. But being on camera and people constantly talking to you – that was new for me. It was overwhelming at first, but by the end, I got used to it and even enjoyed it.
Helen Wills
Yeah.
Owen
At first, seeing myself on TV and on social media was a lot, but I got used to it.
Helen Wills
So why did you choose to go back to the same area? Was it more relaxing or less?
Owen
After the show, I had a few months at home, doing media stuff. But I went back to Asia because I’ve always wanted to do solo backpacking. I wanted to experience it, just see what happens on my own terms, without the stress of being on TV or needing to reach checkpoints. I did it with my own money, my phone, just by myself. It was still anxiety-inducing at times, like walking into a new hostel and having to make new friends. But once you realise that everyone else is in the same boat, it’s easier to get along with people. It was still anxiety-filled, but much more chilled out because I was doing everything on my terms.
Helen Wills
That makes sense. Once you realise everyone feels the same, it doesn’t feel so scary.
Owen
Exactly.
Helen Wills
Yeah. And since you got back from your trip, you’ve been feeling a bit lost?
Owen
Yeah. I’ve just got back from the trip, and I haven’t got anything big planned for a while. It’s easy to feel lost and start overthinking. You wonder, “Am I doing life right?” But when you talk to other people, you realise that everyone is in the same boat.
Helen Wills
Yeah, we’re all in the same boat in different ways.
Owen
Exactly. It’s good to talk to people because you realise that a lot of people are dealing with the same things. And then you feel a little better because you’re not the only one.
Helen Wills
Talking about your problems rather than hiding them is so useful. Just hearing the words out loud makes them less scary.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
And even those kids at school who seem to have it all together – I’m convinced that the bullies or the really tough ones are doing it because they’re scared too.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills
It’s only when you talk to someone and realise the truth of it that you understand we’re all just dealing with the same things in different ways.
Owen
Exactly. That’s why it’s important to talk to people – you realise that everyone is dealing with something, even if it seems like their life is perfect.
Helen Wills
Yeah. And social media isn’t helping with that. People only show what they want others to see.
Owen
Yeah, exactly. It’s why I’m not a big fan of social media.
Helen Wills
You’re right, because we all filter what we put out there, even when talking about mental health. We still don’t share everything.
Owen
Yeah, exactly. It’s normal, but we hide the stuff we don’t think others will approve of.
Helen Wills
And it’s self-defeating in a way. If we get comfortable enough in our own skin and appreciate who we are, it becomes easier to connect with others in a meaningful way.
Owen
Exactly. It’s a process, but once you realise it, it changes how you approach life and how you interact with others.
Helen Wills
Yeah. You’re definitely right.
Owen
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
Yeah.
Owen:
I’ve just found it more interesting and more enjoyable than anything.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, I’m not scared being on a plane because I’m the sort of person who will assume that the person in charge of flying the plane knows everything they need to know and takes their job very seriously.
Owen:
Yeah.
Owen:
Yeah, we hope so, yeah.
Helen Wills:
So I just hand over all control to someone else, and I can do that.
Owen:
Hmm.
Owen:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Helen Wills:
But if I was actually flying it, I suppose I’m speaking to the fact that I don’t trust myself to be perfect enough to fly a plane.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
But you, it seems like you’re really chilled.
Owen:
Yeah, I mean, I’m nowhere near perfect in any way, but, yeah, you’ve kind of just got to trust yourself. And I found something in the pilot stuff that I really enjoy. I genuinely really want to do this for the rest of my life. Because of that, I’ve realised that I do need to trust myself, and if I can’t, then maybe this isn’t the right job for me. But because I can trust myself doing this, I really enjoy it, and I think I’ve got what it takes, hopefully, to do it. I do trust myself and I do back myself, and I think that’s important. I haven’t backed myself or had a lot of confidence in myself for most of my life, so it’s nice to have just a couple of things, the pilot being one of them, where I feel that I can actually do this.
Helen Wills:
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, where does that come from? You say that you haven’t trusted yourself all your life. Is it just the experience that you’ve talked about, and the learning that you’re capable?
Owen:
Yeah, no, it’s exactly that. This is why I talk about throwing yourself in the deep end and trying different things because you need to learn what you’re good at, what you enjoy, and what you can be confident in doing. A lot of the things I’ve done throughout my life, I was quite closed off and didn’t try a lot of things. I feel like that kind of limited my mindset, thinking I probably can’t do this, so I wouldn’t bother trying. But now I’m like, if I think I probably can do this, I’ll give it a go. And then I realise I can do it, and that gives me confidence. So you just have to try different things and see what you like.
Helen Wills:
Right. Right.
Owen:
But I’ve only been like this the past couple of years. Before I was 20, I was completely different. I wouldn’t really try too much, and I would just assume that I couldn’t do it. But now that I’ve tried lots of different things and realised I can do it, it’s like, “Oh, I’m probably capable.”
Helen Wills:
Mm.
Owen:
Of a lot more than I think I am, which is something I think everyone is capable of. I think everyone is capable of a lot more than they realise.
Helen Wills:
Mm.
Owen:
They just need to try things.
Helen Wills:
That’s such a great message. That’s going to be the clip for this podcast.
Owen:
Good. Yeah.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, no, that’s so good. Just give it a go. “Fake it till you make it,” I suppose, is the thing.
Owen:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, you’ve got to do that sometimes.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, and then if you don’t make it, you’ve got the capacity to accept that it’s not the thing for you.
Owen:
Yeah, exactly. And then, at least for me, the regret of not trying something is worse than failing at something. That’s how I always say it. I hate the thought of getting to, like, 30 or 40 years old and thinking, “Oh, I wish I’d tried this when I was 20.” That’s a lot worse than trying something at 20 and failing or not enjoying it. That’s how I see it.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
Were your parents aware that you were having problems with anxiety?
Owen:
Yeah, yeah.
Helen Wills:
What was it like for them? Did they ever talk to you about it?
Owen:
Um, I think nowadays, not really so much because it’s just not a topic that needs to be discussed with them anymore. I don’t worry about as much stuff as I used to. But if I do, I still go to them. I’m very open with them, and I think that’s because I was open with them when I was younger, and they helped me a lot. A lot of the problems I have nowadays, I try to work on myself, but I still lean on my friends and family, and there’s no shame in that.
Helen Wills:
Yeah. Yeah. And what do they do for you that helps, or what did they do for you that helped, other than just listening?
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
Because I’m imagining parents listening to this episode with kids, especially boys, who are anxious and thinking, “How do I help them?” Teenagers tend to be pushing their parents away at this point naturally, because they’re separating.
Owen:
I think, honestly, it’s hard for me to give that advice because I’m not a parent, but what they did for me was give me space. They would let me work things out on my own without pushing me too much. They wouldn’t be over-attentive or nagging me. They would let me figure things out, but whenever I needed them, they were always there. I think they gave me enough space to figure things out, and then they’d step in to help when I wanted it. They knew that pushing me would make me more anxious, so they gave me room and support when I needed it.
Helen Wills:
Right.
Owen:
They were always there if I wanted their support.
Helen Wills:
Yeah. Yeah, it’s a fine line that parents have to figure out how to tread.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
And I know, from a parent’s point of view, that when your child’s anxiety gets bad, the parent’s anxiety can become part of the problem.
Owen:
Yeah, I bet.
Helen Wills:
When my kids aren’t happy, there’s this saying, and I really don’t like it, but it’s kind of true. You have to work really hard against it: “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.”
Owen:
Right, okay.
Helen Wills:
And so many parents will get that, I know. When you realise that, you have to figure out how to make yourself happy, even though your child’s not happy.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
And that’s probably the toughest gig as a parent.
Owen:
Hmm.
Helen Wills:
It’s really hard.
Owen:
Yeah, I know, I bet.
Helen Wills:
But it’s really important that parents look after themselves while this is happening for their child.
Owen:
Yeah, you can’t look after someone else if you haven’t looked after yourself properly. I’ve found that in relationships a lot. If you’re not happy with yourself or looking after yourself, you’re going to find it hard to look after someone else or be with someone else. You haven’t looked after yourself first.
Helen Wills:
Yeah.
Owen:
And I guess it’s the same kind of thing in terms of parenting.
Helen Wills:
Yeah.
Owen:
Yeah, exactly.
Helen Wills:
That’s really an important point. You’re very wise for 22 years.
Owen:
I don’t know. I’m nothing special, just speaking from experience.
Helen Wills:
No, you are. Don’t say that. You are very special. You won Race Across the World. You’ve obviously done great in relationships when you find the right people. You and Alfie have been friends for such a long time, and you got each other through all of that.
Owen:
Yeah.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
And you sound like you’ve reflected on your own process and know yourself pretty well, and you handle that well.
Owen:
Hmm.
Helen Wills:
So, good advice.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
Thank you for talking to me today. Is there anything else you would want to say to kids going through anxiety, a final message?
Owen:
I mean, as I said before, speaking out to whoever it is, whether it’s a mate, your parents, or whoever, is the most important part. For me, that’s always been the most important part—speaking out and not dealing with it all by yourself. Dealing with things on your own and figuring stuff out is good, but always remember that people care about you for a reason, so utilise that and use it to your advantage. That’s what I would say.
Helen Wills:
Yeah, really good message.
Owen:
Yeah.
Helen Wills:
Owen, is there anywhere that you’d like people to find you if they want to connect or anywhere you’d direct them to if they need to reach out?
Owen:
As I mentioned before, The Mix is a great online service. Just search for them on Google. Their website will come up. I’m also on Instagram. My DMs are open, though I don’t always see them all because I get quite a few sometimes, but message me, and I’ll try to help out with advice. I’m always open to those two things for sure.
Helen Wills:
That’s really kind. I’ll put a link to your Instagram and The Mix in the show notes.
Owen:
Yeah, sure.
Helen Wills:
Thank you again so much for your time today.
Owen:
Cool.
Helen Wills:
It’s been really fun talking to you.
Owen:
No, thank you. I’ve enjoyed it. Thank you.