Struggles with infertility can be one of the most challenging things we go through, both as a couple and as an individual. While I can’t promise to make these struggles any easier, there are some things you can do to help you cope as you move through them. Keep reading to find out what they are.
Allow yourself to have your emotions
Infertility struggles can be hard on emotions and the body, and you don’t need to show a stiff upper lip the whole time. It’s OK to cry, feel angry, and feel exhausted and frustrated; you do not have to push these emotions away.
For many, having a place where they can express all the emotions that go along with a fertility journey can be very useful. This may be in a private journal or with a therapist. It could also be helpful to find a support group of people going through the same situation, as there is nothing like sharing your story with those who really understand what you are going through firsthand.
Make sure both partners get tested
Another important aspect of coping with infertility struggles is making sure that you have as much information about your situation as possible. This means that both partners need to get tested, not just the female partner.
The good news is that it’s easier to get a male fertility test now than it’s ever been. Samples for this test can even be taken at home and then dropped into their facilities making it a much less awkward experience for those involved.
Don’t let fertility become your sole focus
When you are TTC or trying to conceive it’s very easy to let fertility or the lack of it become your entire focus. It’s understandable too as it’s important to you both, and comes with a time limit.
However, when fertility becomes all you can think and talk about it can put a lot of strain on the relationships, and the individuals involved. With that in mind, it can be useful to implement some guidelines to ensure your life stays as balanced as possible during this time.
One option is to make sure you book dates with your partner where you do something fun together and connect on an emotional level with no expectation of intercourse. This can help keep the relationship healthy and the couple close.
Another option is to limit the amount of time that you allow yourselves to talk about fertility each day. Some relationship experts suggest that the cap should be at around 20 mins, as this leaves plenty of time for all the other aspects of the relationship to be discussed.
Remind yourself of all the options
While at times the struggle with infertility can seem hopeless, we truly do not know what is in our future. Sometimes this means a pregnancy that goes to term and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it means embracing a child-free life, and sometimes it means fostering or adopting. No matter what is ahead for you and your partner, it can help to remind yourself that the future is not written in stone, and there may still many positive things to come in whatever form they take.