Be Resilient Be You is a brand-new book for teens, from wellbeing author and psychotherapist, Becky Goddard-Hill. It contains 40 topics, all relevant to the teen years, and shares tips on ways a teenager can feel stronger and more in control during these often-turbulent times.
All the guidance is underpinned by neuroscience and research so the young person understands why and how it works. There are lots of actionable tips and many motivational quotes. The book is accessible, easy to dip in and out of, and clearly and succinctly written so as not to be overwhelming.
We are delighted to be part of her book launch tour and show you a snippet from her book. Over to Becky …
Parenting teens can be tough
Being a parent to a teen can be tricky. It can be hard to know how best to support them; your advice may be unwelcome, and your hugs may be shunned. You can’t just pick them up and rock them like you once did. But if you can encourage your teen to TELL you the kind of support they want you can support them more quickly and effectively .
It really does help to know if they want to be hugged, heard or helped. Can you have a conversation with them about this? Here is my advice to teens on getting the support they need from Be Resilient Be You.
Hugged, Heard or Helped
When you have a problem and are seeking support you might end up really frustrated. Perhaps you want to solve your problem yourself and the person you turn to thinks you want advice? It can be really annoying and unhelpful to be advised on something when you just want someone to hear you.
Sometimes you might just want to vent your emotions maybe just have a cry and a quick hug or a comforting arm around your shoulder but the person you have told is asking your questions and making you talk it all through and you are not in the mood. How annoying can that be!
Other times you might want some advice and guidance or practical help and the person you are seeking support from simply listens and nods understandingly. Useless – and not what you were after at all.
News flash
Other people are not mind readers and unless you tell them what kind of support you want they may well get it wrong.
Speak up!
So when life is getting you down pause for a moment and consider. Do you want to be Hugged Heard or Helped? Say it loud and clear to avoid frustration and get what you want and need.
Try it out
Next time a friend comes to you for support ask them if they want to be hugged, heard or helped and offer the kind of support they want rather than the sort you think they need. They will appreciate you far more.
A final word for parents /carers
I hope you can encourage your teens to read this extract or work through be Resilient Be You and learn more about how to self-advocate. For your part, as their adult, simply try asking . Do you want to be hugged, heard or helped? It can make all the difference.
Be Resilient Be You is out now and is published by Harper Collins and available on Amazon.
You can find Becky blogging at EmotionallyHealthyKids,com