Dress Your Age Mummy!

Mummy, I love you, goodness knows that I do. But be realistic. You are 44, not 24; some choices just aren’t you. The frilled bikinis, the all-in-one playsuits, the skorts (omg) – they are just not right. I know you were young, you say you were cool, but really, don’t go there, pleeeease? Don’t get me wrong, you do have style. But the things you desire look better on me. Frills, lace, feathers, they’re chic. But make sure they’re my size – I can carry them off. I love your clothes, I want them for me . I can’t wait till I fit in your wedding …

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How to be Lucky: a Simple Technique

I wrote last week how Mummy won a ticket to Cybermummy. She is usually a firm believer in the theory that it is impossible to win anything in a lottery-style competition, having grappled regularly with the tests in Reader’s Digest as a child and won nothing. She was never selected from a random draw to appear on Jim’ll Fix It either. So began, at the age of 11, a lifetime of cynicism and can’tbebotheredness. So she was astounded by her luck in winning the golden ticket! Off she trotted to London, smug, but bemused by this unexpected good fortune. Well friends, you’ll …

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3 Word Gallery

His Father’s Son I think I’ve mentioned Daddy’s love of stock car racing. He is desperate to race himself, but Mummy won’t let him for fear of what could happen. So he contents himself with dragging us to race meetings every now and then. I take a stack of books and beg for ice-cream, sweets, chips, airhorns, anything to create a diversion and get me through the day. The Bug takes an altogether more fanatical stance on the event, showing up with his picnic chair and settling in for the duration. Does the pink Disney princess chair bother him? Not …

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A Gift for Father’s Day

Every year the Bug and I make something at school as a gift for Father’s Day. Usually colorful, sometimes edible, often unidentifiable, and always heartfelt. This year, in addition to the usual offerings, we gave Daddy a gift which, although inedible and unwearable, surpassed all expectations. We took him to watch Stock Car racing. In the rain. For the uninitiated, this is an event where beaten up cars compete in a series of races for the unenviable privilege of entering a final ‘demolition derby’ – a fight to the death for cars which sometimes only have 2 wheels to begin …

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Networking: Mummy Meets the Real Bloggers

Blogging is pretty new to Mummy, but at a recent bloggers networking event she met a whole crew of local mummy bloggers in our area. She had heard of most of these ladies, but had no idea that they lived just round the corner. So when they invited her to join their gang on a night out she was thrilled. A social life is something she seems to crave, although why, when she has so many Rainbow Fairy books, Polly Pocket dolls, and Moshi Monster cards at home, is completely beyond me. She quietly anticipated a champagne-fuelled lunch, or a …

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Destablilised: Riding a Bike Grown-Up Style

I did it! Six and a half years in, two and a half since my ‘bicycle birthday’ I finally wobbled my way to independence! There have been many slanging matches along the way, several threats to give my bike to the charity shop, and numerous months when my wheels lay quietly at the back of the garage, waiting for me to be ready. Well suddenly, this week, I was ready. Setbacks that would have previously seen me screaming with uncontrollable delusions of failure caused a mere shrug and a hop back into the saddle. Fruit pastilles magnified the motivation levels …

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Trading Cards: Moshi MONSTER Meltdown!

Trading cards – what on earth are they all about? I have been begging M&D to let me get involved for some time now. I am desperate to log on to the computer game, but M&D say that whilst they are still paying for the Club Penguin membership there will be no new subscription-based online games. Finally, faced with a need to make me sleep more, Mummy invested in an incentive programme. Two weeks later I have the beginnings of a nice collection of cards. Twice so far I have had a complete temper meltdown. First I left my carefully …

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Seasickness Remedies

My Daddy gets seasick. I know this now because we went on a ferry to Guernsey last week and he couldn’t manage anything beyond ‘aaargh that was a bad one’ for the whole trip. He has spent the first 3 days of our holiday panicking about the return journey, and I’m sure from his reaction that no-one has ever felt as bad as he did. At the time I was pretty nonchalant, but now I am concerned. He has developed a new-found obsession with a website called windfinder.com, which he studies intently from the first moment of awakening until just …

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