Wot So Funee?My brother has a wobbly tooth. I am livid. Do you know how long it’s been since I had a visit from the tooth fairy? I exchanged a fair few letters with her a couple of years back, but that fair-weather friend has done a flit of late. I knew I should have made more effort with the mermaid.

Tooth Fairy letter

Anyhow, riffling through my correspondence the other day I stumbled across this. She never replied, the ungrateful pixie, and she never came back for that dress/skert I promised her. Just as well really as it’s currently draped, tramp-like, over a felt-tipped Barbie who’s seen better days. All I can say is that if she’s planning a nocturnal visit to the Bug she’d better not tickle him under the armpits – he keeps a light-saber under his duvet…

In the meantime, let me tell you that our parents have wised up. They’re not daft, you know – they know that we know, and they know that we’re manipulating them with our negotiation through the medium of the Tooth Fairy letter. Huffington Post quoted a dental poll recently, suggesting that us kids are getting better at using the Tooth Fairy, Santa, and the Easter Bunny to our advantage. Remind me to tell you about how I conned the Bunny into bringing me roller-skates.

Swallowed teeth are no longer a problem, extra cash is definitely a possibility, and emotional blackmail awaits the fairy who forgets. We are all expert stockbrokers.

Image credit

Finally, I’ve spotted a gappy smile in the market. A website called the The Real Tooth Fairy has today reported that its traffic has topped 7 million visits a year.  The site hooks you up with your personal Tooth Fairy, with whom you can play games, swap letters, and design outfits. But by my reckoning it’s for girls aged around 3. Take, a look – you’ll see what I mean. Now call me naive, but I’ve never seen 3 year old lose a tooth. And by the way, boys lose teeth too! Now if such an asinine, stereotyped website can attract that many visitors, I reckon a seriously cool Tooth Fairy letter website aimed at girls and boys old enough to have a chance of actually losing a tooth would go through the roof! Remember, you heard it here first 😉

Oh, and Mother, if you’re reading, I’m still waiting on a reply from that French mermaid – just in case you’d forgotten….

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