Wot So Funee? The one where gin is Mummy’s ruin

Wot So Funee?
I have been around Mums for long enough now to know that gin (and sometimes wine) is a hot topic of conversation. Mummy is more likely to be found sipping sauvignon, but Friday is Gin night, the start of the weekend, and the first sound of Daddy’s key in the door sees ice-cubes hurtling out of the mega-fridge and the Bombay Sapphire separated from it’s sticky mates Cointreau and DiSaronno. There is a saying that Gin is Mother’s Ruin, but I think it is for different reasons that Mummy came a cropper with it recently…

Supermarkets are places the Bug and I rarely get to see, due to our tendency to disappear down the toy aisles and spend the trip whining about needing “yet another bit of useless plastic.” But pressed for time last week with the Bug in tow, she shoe-horned him into a trolley (he is 5, I’d say that is child-cruelty) and whizzed round the veg section, pausing to grab him a box of cherry tomatoes to snack on (more child-cruelty). Consulting her list she reeled off her requirements:

  • M: We need ham… 
  • Bug: For Daddy’s sandwiches, and we need biscuits…
  • M: Ryvitas…
  • Bug: For Mummy’s diet….. Don’t forget we need biscuits…
  • M: Orange juice…
  • Bug: For GG, I hate orange…. What about the biscuits?
  • M: … and tonic.
  • Bug: For Mummy’s Gin.
  • M: Yes, erm, lets get some biscuits now.
  • Bug: No, we need to get the tonic, or you won’t be able to have your Gin Mummy. Where’s the Gin? Giiiiiiinnnn? Where are you??? Mummy needs you!!!!!

There were a few raised eyebrows, and a couple of stifled giggles, as mothers everywhere kept their heads down in silent sympathy.

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29 thoughts on “Wot So Funee? The one where gin is Mummy’s ruin”

  1. Oh dear… I remember Master E calling wine ‘Grandma’s juice’ as a tot and being horrified once when she smashed a bottle – when he learnt it’s name he happily told anyone who’d listen that Grandma’s juice is wine – eek!

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  2. This has made me laugh so much! Makes me feel better about Molly asking why I hadn’t out any wine in the trolley when we were shopping a few weeks ago! : ) xx

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  3. I feel your blushes – have had similar. When dragging 4 kids round supermarket doing Christmas shop looking like death warmed up as suffering from horrid cold (husband in bed with flu!) I discovered that the pitying looks I was getting from the other shoppers were due not to my state of imminent collapse but rather because my third child was telling anyone who came within lisping distance – “My Daddy is in Gaol”.

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  4. Hahaha, busted!
    Z has a plastic tea set thingy and he was pouring invisible tea to us one day and offered me a cup but I was busy doing something or other so said “no thank you darling” to which he replied “you want some wine?”

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  5. Hilarious post – love it when your children humiliate you in public! Gin and Ryvita – good diet! POD insisted on shouting “Mummy need wine” last time I was in a supermarket. She’s right though – there’s nothing better than a chilled glass of Malborough Sauvignon! See you at BritMums, I’m going for a sneaky one in All Bar One beforehand 🙂

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