My Mummy went to the BritMums Live blogger’s conference recently. The bickering normally associated with me and the Bug, instead emitted from the depths of her wardrobe as she rummaged through her options. Skirt = leg-shaving, not attempted since the night before Christmas 2011. Fave jeans = crash diet; not attractive. Day to evening emergency bling in case of an unexpected win at the Brilliance in Blogging awards. In the end she settled on a comfortable old friend from Zalando.
Regular readers will know of my Mummy’s big temptation, #FrozenWine, an invention which came about at the suggestion of Delia Smith, who freezes leftover wine in an ice-cube tray for use in stocks and risotto recipes. Mummy emptied a bottle and sat in smug anticipation of a coq au vin later in the week. Her big failure was forgetting the power of Twitter to induce a woman to drink; 6 hours later the frozen cubes of shiraz were in the microwave (it takes 10 seconds per cube to achieve the perfect glass, by the way).
And so began the frozenwine hashtag, which Mummy claims belongs to her, despite rumours of wine slushies in the freezer aisles of the American Costco. She rushed off to patent “WinePops” and dreamed of overnight success behind a muddy tent at Glastonbury.
What a shame that there wasn’t a divine dress company willing to style her for the BritMums Live conference. Perhaps if she had been in possession of some gorgeous couture, she might have felt a little more aware of her outfit, carried herself more proudly, conducted herself more delicately, been an ambassador for the brand rather than a showcase for the wine.
As it happens, there is still time to redeem Mummy’s style before it sips the final dregs of acceptability and concedes defeat. As a finalist in the Mad Blog Awards Mummy will once again get to trip
up the steps the light fantastic in a sea of beautifully adorned fellow bloggesses. Rumour has it there will be wine. Who will help me save my Mummy’s style?