I Want a Bra

I want a bra

I recently turned 7. Daddy says he can’t believe how old I am; Mummy doesn’t know where the time has gone. I think I am old enough to wear a bra. I know exactly what I want; I’ve tried on enough of Mummy’s to know what I like: I want lace. I want a bra.

Don’t get me wrong, I do know that some things are not appropriate for a girl my age. Mummy recently acquired a set of matching bra and knickers from the gorgeous Freya Lingerie, and whilst I coveted them for their lace and pretty fabric, I would not have chosen to wear them. (Tried them on behind Mummy’s back though!) No, I want a simple white (or pink) cotton bra, with lace.

Bra-for-6-year-olds

Mummy has vetoed this idea on the basis that I do not yet need one. But what I want to know is, why do M&S sell a bra for 6-year-olds if it is not necessary? For 6-year-olds! The one I want is simple and plain, and begins in a size 6-8 years. Alright, it is a crop-top style, but it is still a bra! And they sell it, so I want it. M&S are not the only parent-offenders, either. Primark sell a similar garment in a hotter pink, with sparkly embellishments. I wouldn’t even dare to ask for that one.

I am hearing that in year 6 of school there are girls who do need bras, and I am hoping that by then Mummy will see sense and get me something to cover-up in. These girls have to change for P.E. in their classroom, in front of boys. They are 11. Some of them do not have breasts, but some of them do, and I can’t believe it doesn’t embarass them. I mean, I am 7 and I won’t even let Mummy and the Bug share a toilet with me!

The debate rages in our house; I want everything I see that draws me away from babyish ways; meanwhile Mummy is strictly against it and wants me to remain a child for as long as possible. Here is how she showed it:

 

So what is the right age for a girl to get a bra?

 I’m also updating this post to link up with Mummy Barrow, who is having her own rant about bras today!

44 thoughts on “I Want a Bra”

  1. My Mum made me wear a vest into secondary school because I did not need a bra. This was mortifying. That said, I don’t think that I will let the munchkin wear a bra when she is prepubescent, because I hate the way we sexualise young children.

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  2. Isn’t it? But where on earth do you draw the line? GG has Lellie’s and they are so gorgeous, but it is the advertising and the make-up that drags girls into wanting to be older than they are.
    Ruth, I was in secondary school and wearing a bikini top under my shirt before my Mum eventually took me bra shopping. I don’t want to do that to my girl – it was dreadful!

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  3. eeeek! This has just made me realise the things I’ll have to go through with my daughter and she’s only 2! I do think 6 is quite young though for a bra. I also don’t agree with bikinis for young girls, it just makes them seem to grow up so much quicker. Whatever next?!

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  4. Don’t get me started on Lelli Kellie – over priced shoes with ‘free’ make up – MAKE UP?!

    I think the whole bra’s younger things is just one of those sad things that happens these days. I’m not for a moment saying that it’s right but I can imagine there’s an element of peer pressure…’but mummy Mandy and Jessie wear bras and they are 7 too!’

    My mum would NEVER let me get my ears pierced – by the time I did I was 23 !

    It’s hard balancing trying to keep our children children and ‘being a cool parent’ !

    Great note posting by the way !

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  5. The need for a bra is essentially driven by the need for a bra! In other words, if there is actual development occuring, then yes…..if not, then no. If there is a lot of peer pressure go for a little sports bra kind of thing (what do they call those anyway??) It will probably satisfy the wanting a bra without making your 6 or 7 year old into a miniature teenager.

    The sad truth, though, is that little girls are maturing much earlier than they used to. It is not uncommon now for girls to start menses at age 8! I was 13!! And once girls start their periods the bra question is pretty much settled because development makes it a necessity.

    It seems like even Mother Nature is pushing our little girls to grow up too fast!! 🙂

    That said, if there is no need, hold fast against getting her one no matter how she begs or rants! She’ll be a “woman” for all of her life. Keep her a little girls for as long as you can! She’ll thank you one day.

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    • That’s odd isn’t it? My friend’s daughter was 9, I was 14. And yet historically girls were child-bearing much younger than we do today. 14 was a normal age to be having a baby – and in some cultures that still happens. However that was probably without the sexualisation that goes on today – GG does have a bikini, but it is a chunky Boden one with a skirt. I can’t stand the tiny halter-necks available in stores like H&M.
      I fear we are in for a long argument here!

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  6. No no no, you don’t need a bra yet. 6 is far too young, your mummy is right…enjoy the freedom and your age… a time will come when you wish you didn’t need one….

    great note posting too….

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  7. Melodee625 nailed the response. That said, it’s sad and yes, they’ve got the rest of their lives to be women. Wish they knew it!

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  8. Really?? Really?? Really?? Wow I had no idea. I don’t remember little girls wearing bras in my day ????? I wasn’t allowed to go out on my own or wear make up until I was least 14 years old . I remember starting to grow boobies when I was about 9 but didn’t get shoved in a bra straight away. Am I sounding old fashioned or are girls being made to grow up way too fast these days? Great rant and great What Wednesday sticker M&S placement ….. its not just any sticker …. its an Actually Mummy sticker ……

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  9. What????!!! 6 year old. I’m 33 and still waiting to have something to put into a bra! What’s a 6 year old going to put. This makes me almost wish I had 3 boys.
    Love the rant. I wonder what the next person thought!

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  10. Mummy hates the idea of bras for little girls. Apparently this ‘puberty’ thing is happening younger and younger, but she says we’ll grow up far too quickly anyway. It’s a pet hate of hers and she hates the idea of sexualisation of youngsters. She applauds you for this post!

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    • I’m 11 and yes I have now left primary school but during it people would make comment like “I can see your nipples ” or “err what’s that under her top ” and most of all “is your top too tight” what do I do I think I need a bra but I’m nervous to ask my mun

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  11. Wow… The Princess is 6 and she will definately not be wearing a bra (or a ‘booby thing’ as she calls it) for a VERY long time yet! Not quite sure which planet M&S were on when they came up with that idea….. 6 years???? Crazy!

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  12. brilliant brilliant brilliant post! I can’t believe M&S have the temerity to sell pre-puberty bras – but what’s interesting is that generally as a company they are so “holier-than-thou” that no-one makes a fuss, whereas when Primark had the bras for girl (ok, they WERE padded, insane!), that made the papers. Thankfully Super-Tot is mainly into shoes, and not bras just yet, but if shops and magazines are anything to go by, by the time she is 6 I’m sure she’ll be pestering me too…. and she will have the same reply – no!

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  13. Yup, I have been into M&S and Primark, and they both do bra style tops for kids aged 6+
    Appalling!! My 6 year old, fortunately, was very happy with her pretty, and very non bra like vests, with little flowers on them. She has no idea about when she will need a bra, and I plan to keep it that way for a LONG time!

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  14. It’s an age old problem isn’t it. Little girl wants to grow up and the grownups know how important it is to be a little girl as long as possible. I’m not looking forward to my debates for the future (5 year old). I think it’s a crying shame that M&S find it necessary to sell this sort of thing. There needs to be some rules around supply and demand when it’s a vicious circle like this and sometimes it’s better just to cut supply and demand will stop.

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  15. Omg! I knew they had padded bra’s in Primark but I thought all of that ended when they were forced to take them down!? What on earth is a 6yo meant to put into a bra!? This scares the life out of me for when my girl grows up and she’s only 2. Although she did put my bra on the other day and say “I got no boobies Mummy,” so maybe I won’t have to worry about it any time soon 😉

    PS; bloody love the picture! I wonder how many people have seen it and come here!?

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  16. I love the fact you left a post it!! That was a brilliant idea.

    Its a very controversial situation isn’t it. Children should remain children for as long as possible. Being a grown up isn’t all its cut out to be as us ‘grown ups’ know. If children develop early then I see no reason why they shouldn’t wear one. However I can also see reasons why little girls want to wear them, they want to feel that little bit grown up, all their friends have one. Padded bra’s would be out of the question though. Ahhhhh what a bloody annoyingly tricky situation…

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    • I’m 11 and in my last yr of primary school (which has just ended) the girls got changed in the classroom and the boys got changed in the cloakroom but our teacher who is MALE kept walking in and staring at the girls when we have our tops off or something else off we kept telling him if he could just stand in the cloakroom while the FEMALE teaching assistant stayed in the classroom and we kept telling him that it was awkward but he kept saying “no no don’t be silly it’s not awkward”
      That’s why I’m glad primary schools over and we can actually get changed with a little more privacy!

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      • Hannah, thank you for commenting. Can I ask you to please tell your parents about this, if you haven’t already? This is not ok, and whilst it may be completely innocent, that teacher needs to know that he is making young girls uncomfortable, and needs to respect their privacy. Please let your parents know so they can decide how to take it up with the school, for the sake of all the girls who are still there.

        Good luck with secondary school.

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  17. A girl needs a bra when she has something to put in a bra! I started young (9) and so has my daughter – She’s 9 and 32B. Yep 32B

    Had her measured at Debenhams and M&S and both said the same size. Didn’t believe Debenhams so went to M&S to get it checked. Gobsmacked when they said the same size. Needed to be picked up from the floor

    Surprised about boys and girls changing for pe in same room in year 6. As a parent I would be asked the school for different changing facilities if girls have started to develop. Not good

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      • I am 11 years old and my name is Rox . All the girls in my class have already started wearing real adult bras but when I asked my mum she said I was too small for one and now I don’t know what to do!

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        • Hi Rox, thank you so much for commenting here. Have you tried showing your mum this post, and the comments? At 11 I completely understand the need for something to cover up in. I started by getting my daughter crop tops, but even before she had proper boobs she needed some padding so she didn’t feel embarrassed under her top. There are some quite simple, AA bras to start with. I don’t know where you are, but Marks and Spencers to a lovely range called Angel that do the job perfectly without making you look like you are bigger than you really are. Have a proper chat with your mum, and tell her how you’re feeling.

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  18. Hi, I am eleven and have just got my first bra, it’s super cool! It is a padded bra from primark, it is a bit itchy but my mum said that is what all bras feel like. I have had it for about three days now and have gotten used to it. My friends wear either padded bras, crop tops or sports bras. In our school the girls and boys have been changing separately since year 4. I’m surprised about your daughters school. Changing together in year 6!

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  19. i am 9 year old am i got bras because i was develiping earliy and was not happy with wearing tight or normally tight but now my nipples are showing threw my training bras but i don’t know how to ask for a padded one!

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    • Hi Pheobe – I totally get it! I really don’t think girls need the hassle of a bra too young – they’re not the most comfortable things after all – but when nipples start to show as breast buds are growing, I know how embarrassing this can feel to a girl, irrespective of her age. I think there’s a misconception amongst us mums sometimes that padded bras are designed to enhance and increase the size of the chest under clothes, but in fact, when I researched this for my daughter, I found that the smallest sizes don’t do that at all. It really is simply a matter of smoothing over the nipple so that it doesn’t show under a tshirt. I think my daughter’s first proper bra was a size 28A from the Angel range at M&S. It did nothing to increase size or create cleavage (what most of us mums don’t want for our young girls); it just covered the embarrassment. As you know, the thin crop tops and vests don’t do that. Alternatively you could look at sports tops – they’re often thicker and have a more flattening effect than a vest top, but without the cups that mums don’t like to rush into. I really hope you find a solution that works for you AND your mum. Helen

      Reply

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