Photo courtesy of Stephanie Belton Photography
*This post has recently been updated with our solution to the problem. Scroll down to see what we did.
I have this beautiful hair. At least that’s what everyone tells me. Problem is, as well as my head, I have it on my arms and legs. Not as long, obviously, but long and thick enough for me (and others) to notice it. I have mumbled about it on and off for a year now, but it is only now the summer uniform has kicked in that my friends are noticing, and commenting on it. I am 7. Can I shave my legs yet?
I tend to keep my worries to myself, but chatting over breakfast today I mentioned to Mummy that it bothers me when I get called “hairy-legs” at school. She didn’t make a fuss, didn’t ask who the culprits were, apart from determining that both boys and girls say it. She just asked what I would like to do about it, and explained my options. I said I’d get back to her, and put my thoughtful look on.
When shaving goes wrong…
Mummy remembers all too well the shame of hairy arms and a moustache when she was young. She doesn’t remember discussing it with Grandma, but she does recall taking a chunk out of her upper lip with Grandad’s razor, as well as giving herself a freaky eyebrow trim that she can still see the shadows of today. She anticipated this conversation with me, and wanted to handle it differently; she just wasn’t expecting it quite so soon.
What the Twitterati say…
Turns out Mummy was not alone. She was inundated with responses to my question on Twitter, ranging from outrage that society is forcing girls as young as me to even notice hair on their legs, to women whose mothers waxed them from the age of 8. Apparently, in some cultures it is common practice to wax girls from a very young age, so there is no stigma attached to it. Mediocre Mum was quick to add a BabyCenter discussion into the mix, and lots of mums had tips on the best way to remove hair from children.
Striking a balance…
Mummy does not always see my take on things, but on personal appearance she is very much on my side. She identified with the tweeters who talked about not being allowed to shave arms and legs until their teens, and those who were forced to wear “cornish pasty” shoes because they were good for their developing feet. In her early teens she saved up her pocket money to buy cooler shoes, that she changed into on the way to school. She wore her bikini top under her school shirt for weeks until Grandma noticed and reluctantly bought her a bra.
But what age is the right age for all this stuff? Surely an 8 year old shouldn’t be worrying about shaving her legs? If I start with this now, will it be pierced ears I’m wanting when I’m 9? Hair dye for my 10th birthday?
A slippery slope…
Coincidentally a Facebook discussion took place yesterday about puberty, with a mother worrying about whether her daughter’s junior school was equipped with sanitary bins, should she start her periods aged 10. Apparently girls are now starting their periods 12-18 months earlier than their mothers did, meaning girls having to deal with the practicalities of their maturing bodies in some cases before they even understand about sex.
Add to that another thread about a 15 year old girl wondering if she can go on the pill to help control her acne (interestingly she has just met her first serious boyfriend), and suddenly Mummy is hurtling towards the impending abyss of the complicated teenage years all too quickly.
Mummy has a dilemma. Aged 10, she started to get a bit chubby. She was told she had a big bottom. She gave up puddings and started eating more fruit. She asked if she could avoid chips for a while. Grandma dismissed her concerns as nonsense, “puppy fat.” She was right; by the age of 16 Mummy was skinny and had a great body, which she was too self-critical to appreciate until 25 years later! But that didn’t help her at the time, and she was painfully aware of not being one of the popular girls.
Mummy wants to do a better job with me, by taking my concerns seriously, hopeful that her actions will prevent the hidden shoes, the furtive hair-tinting, and the secret shaving. She wants me to feel comfortable talking with her about my issues. She wants to help me.
If you read the Babycenter post, you will notice that some commenters criticise the author for embarrassing her daughter by talking about such things openly. Will this post embarrass me one day? Or does putting it out in the public domain show it for what it is: a normal issue which most girls will contend with at some point? Maybe that’s a whole other blog post…
What would you do?
*After much debate and research, we have finally hit on a solution, which I wanted to share, in case others are going through the same problem. Our lovely hairdresser recommended trimmers, set to a medium grade, to take the ends off the longer hair. GG now has similar hair to most of the girls in her class. She is thrilled, and we don’t have to consider shaving or waxing – for now, at least!
I am linking this post to Cheetahs in my Shoes You’re Beautiful meme, because GG, whatever the state of your legs, hair, bruises, the lot – YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!
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Oh lordy!
I have no idea how to handle this one but i’ll be watching the comments for advice for the future.
All I know is I was the only girl at primary school wearing a bra and got teased. Guess the other girls were just jealous yeah?
I don’t get why it’s such a big deal to other girls. I needed a bra and wanted one, but hadn’t factored in that my best friend wasn’t in a bra and made fun of me in PE lessons. I was 13!
My concern is not so much about the specifics of leg-shaving – which is going to happen sooner or later I guess – but more about setting the precedent that if you get teased for something you change yourself, rather than challenging the people doing the teasing. I don’t think that’s a very healthy precedent to set and I think it could lead to other problems in future 🙁
This is a real tough one, but you’re doing the right thing by thinking it through and seeking different opinions. Good luck – you’ll come to the decision that’s right for you xx
I agree whole-heartedly with the sentiments that we should be teaching our children that you dont’t change yourself to fit when you come up against teasing, but then don’t we all do that. I know what you’re getting at and that we’re talking about children teasing on a specific issue which often does blow over with time, but then we could ask why any grown woman shaves her legs. Surely it’s because it’s expected that we will, so can we really blame children when it’s actually grown ups setting the example here.
Just a thought really…? As much as I do think it’s very young to be entering the world of hair removal, by saying no is it not a bit of a case of do as I say, not as I do? X
Well, it is, but the question is what age do you change tack? We drink alcohol in front of our children, but we wouldn’t dream of letting them do it. I wouldn’t let her wear make-up routinely either, it would just look ridiculous, but there will come a time when that decision has to be made too. And there are girls in her class with pierced ears already. I guess it’s just a question of biting the bullet, but when????
I must admit I hadn’t thought of that before my twitter discussion this morning. They may well just laugh at her because she shaves them, instead of the hairs, so I think you’re right – perhaps it is best to see if we can get past it. Though she will shave them one day – they all will
Oh this has reminded me of the shame of getting teased myself. Its a difficult one, shaving is hard and other methods painful but less painful than being called names. Children do move on though so perhaps it will blow over.
The good thing is she is talking to you about it and as you say it’s best to be able to have a open conversation.
I’m really pleased about that at least. I guess as a teacher you’d know how these things go. Maybe I should talk to her teacher about it first. It might blow over, but the thing with GG is that she could easily just bottle it up and not talk to me again about it if I don’t discuss further. But if I do that will probably just fuel her desire to do it! Can’t win!
Yes, maybe ask her again and see how shes feeling after a couple of days. She might have forgotten all about it or she might be even more determined.
I have all this to come. Joy.
Tough one isn’t it? On the one hand I feel her pain, on another I don’t want her to have all that to deal with yet
Can I just say that my daughters worries pale into insignificance compared to wondering whether its OK for an 8-year old to shave. What a nightmare for you and her; so hard to know what to do for the best – perhaps she is just an early developer? I wait with baited breath to see what people think, as you have me stumped as well….
It’s interesting because I actually think it will get better, not worse with puberty. She has been like it since being a baby, so I knew it would be an issue eventually, and I remember feeling bad about it myself in primary school, although I think I was older. There seems to be a lot of differing opinions out there. It was quite a discussion this morning on Twitter. No right or wrong I guess. In my day it was just “don’t be so ridiculous, you’re still a child” but I think we take the concerns of our children more seriously these days.
Oh, such a tough one. My instinct is to say, OF COURSE eight is too young to shave your legs, but I also know that I couldn’t bear the thought of my daughter being upset by teasing and I’d do anything to help her avoid it if I had to. I think Dorky Mum’s point is a good one. Would it be a good way to respond to the teasing? It might make it seem like they’ve got a fair point when they haven’t! However, if you decide to be proactive and help her remove the hair safely, please don’t feel bad about it. How infuriating and devastating that it’s even come to this….
I know, isn’t it? I can see my mother reading this and tutting “What is the world coming to – children should be children” but when children are noticing these things and making an issue of it, then I don’t think ignoring the issue is helpful at all! Just because we didn’t do it doesn’t mean our children shouldn’t. I think it will depend on how often she talks about it, but she was very thoughtful when she was telling me this morning. I don’t think she really wants to get into the whole shaving and waxing thing, but on the other hand she doesn’t like the hair…
We are all teased for something ‘too short, too tall, too fat or too thin’. Most of these things we can not change. If my daughter was very upset by teasing over something I would want to change it to take the hurt away but how serious is it, what about the things we can’t change and what about teasing for having shaved legs? I’d be inclined to suggest bleaching to make less noticeable and see if that helps.
Thing is, I remember doing that with mine and it just made it shiny and golden – so even more noticeable! And obvious that I was bothered by it. But several people did suggest to me that even if we do go down the shaving/waxing route, they may just tease her for being bothered about it! The first girl in our class at school to get a bra was teased mercilessly, until everyone else got one and it became boring.
Oh blimey, we’ve not had this one yet thankfully my daughter has embraced all her hair wherever it maybe – well at the moment anyway! I don’t envy you!
I have very, very dark hair and very, very pale skin so you can imagine how bad mine was when I was a kid. I must admit I did try and shave my legs when I was about 10 but all I did was cut myself to ribbons and leave some nice scars. So maybe say not yet, it’s for when she’s a bit older and that the teasing will blow over. But teach her how to remove her hair so she doesn’t hurt herself just in case she decides to utterly ignore you and tries to do it herself.
Yes, I think you’re right Liz, I might accidentally let her see how I use my epilator as a razor sometimes so she’s not tempted to borrow her Dad’s and take chunks out of herself 😉
I can’t remember how old I was when I first shaved my legs but I was probably about 11 or 12. My daughter is now 12 and wants to shave her legs and to be honest, I’m a bit reluctant to say yes. The reason for this is because I know how clumsy she is and I really don’t want her to end up with razor marks all over her beautiful legs. So I bought her Veet. She can use it in the shower and it won’t make a mark. I’d say 8 was too young, but I’d also say that it’s not really for anyone else to judge as everyone’s circumstances are different. If your daughter really wants to do this because it’s making her life miserable at school, then I’d be inclined to help her with it. There’s nothing worse than being miserable at the place we spend so much of our time – my blog post today reflects on this.
Good luck!
CJ x
Oooh I’ll come and take a look CJ. I think at 12 if all the others were doing it I wouldn’t have a problem, and yes, I do want to be the kind of mum who gets it, and tries to help, but I don’t want to make big mistakes in the process. Part of me thinks what the heck, it’s only hair and shaving, what’s the big deal. Part of me knows this is a step on the road to adulthood 🙁
I think I’ll just sit in the corner with my head in the sand hoping that my children don’t grow up… but in reality I know I am already verging on the edge of all this (actually I should already be 2 steps ahead of you, having already got a 10 year old son and a 9 year old daughter) but I am lucky that mine for the time being anyway seem totally blissfully innocent about all things pubity related and appearance related to the main part, happy to skip off wearing shorts and t shirts climbing trees not realy noticing anyones legs… I am pretty open with them about everything and they are aware of the changes their bodies will go through but am hoping I have at least a year or two more of their childhood innocence good luck with it tho its not easy watching your children grow up
Yes, I must admit, I wasn’t expecting it so soon. To be fair to her, she is mostly like that too, but she does care how she looks, and she cares what her friends think. Having said that, she also gets called bruisy legs but she wears those with pride!
I agree with the hair removal creams. If the hair is that bad that you felt the need to blog about it then I would say you should ask your mum to support you and get her to show you a safe way to deal with it, after all your mums hairy legs are well known on Twitter after our Tots 100 xmas party.
Make sure that you are making the changes because you want to though and not because someone else is telling you to and remember once you start you will be removing hair for the rest of your life or until you become so old you dont care any more.
Let us know how you get on x
Ha! Now I remember where she gets it from! We will brave it and be legendary together!
*heh heh* I shouldn’t laugh that someone commented on your hairy legs Actually Mummy but I am going to anyway!
lolololololol
In an ideal world we’d all nuture our babies into free spirits who do not care about such things but there’s an outside factor that we cannot control – namely friends, peers and to some degree the media.
Tell GG the story of Mammasaurus who was so fed up with her arms being really hairy at the age of 12 that she shaved them – both her arms! The hair grew back thicker and faster than ever and to this day I have not raised a razor to my arms again!
It’s a tricky one, it’s balancing her self confidence and emotional upset with the fact that yes it is very young to be doing that sort of thing. Best of luck x
Lol, I shaved my arms once as well before deciding to put up with it – horrible result isn’t it?
We have to face the fact that kids develop and mature at different ages, and want the things that come along with this. I have a friend whose 10 year old has her period, and another who developed hairs under her arms at 9! (Must confess that at this particular juncture I am happy to have boys!! Maybe in a year or two that will change!!)
Lol, yes, I’ve got boys to contend with as well at some point! Bug wouldn’t leave us girls alone to chat tonight, said he wanted to listen because it was interesting! He’s going to be one clued up boyfriend one day 😉
I shaved both my legs and arms in secret because I was so ashamed about the dark hairs. I think I was about 11 or 12. I also *tried* to shave my mono brow with a tragically ridiculous result. I git into soooooo much trouble. After shaving the hairs On my arms they grew back thicker and darker then before. My daughter is 10 now and thankfully she does not seem too bothered by the hair on her arms and legs although luckily for her, her hair is a lot fairer than mine was. A few months ago for the first time she mentioned the hair on her legs and arms to me – perhaps noticing it or being annoyed by it for the first time? Anyhow it had been a while since I had bothered to shave my legs (yay for long pants) and the hairs on my legs looked truly dreadful. I showed her the hairs, how thick and nasty they were, showed her how dark the hairs on my arms were, and explained that once you start shaving your legs, you have to do it forever, because they grow back thicker and darker and I had shaved my arms when I was young and that’s why my arm hairs are even darker. I told her that everyone has arm hair, it’s just life. I said to her that when she is older, and she feels like she wants to shave her legs, to let me know, and we will get her legs waxed instead. I
Think she was a bit mortified by the nasty spiky hairs on my legs, and a bit fearful of the pain of waxing (I explained what they do) so she took all the information on board and hasn’t mentioned it again since. I am hoping that will be enough. If she was being teased at school for hairy legs and it continued on after efforts were put in place to stop the teasing and it made her feel miserable, I would take her to get her legs waxed.
Thanks for commenting on here, I did explain that waxing is painful, but she says she still wants to do it, so it must be a big enough issue for her. I do feel sad for her though at her age 🙁
What a dilemma! I know this doesn’t help in any way but I’m soooo glad I don’t have to deal with these things yet. I remember being teased about having hairy legs (by family members as well as some children at school) and my mum finally relented and let me shave my legs when I was 11. If I hadn’t have been teased I would definitely have left it later (my body hair wasn’t an issue until others pointed it out and then all I wanted to do was get rid of it).
I think you’re totally doing the right thing by discussing it openly with GG. Maybe you could sit her down and talk through it properly and then let her think about it for a couple of weeks or so. If she still feels very strongly at the end of time then maybe explore some of the easier hair removal options ( e.g. Veet) for her to try. Fingers crossed though that she’ll have forgotten all about it in those few weeks and moved onto something new.
I did exactly that this evening, and we agreed that maybe her teacher ought to be aware – she’s brilliant at doing the whole “what makes a good friend” chat with them
Read this http://vagendamag.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/hair-not-musical.html?m=1
And maybe share with your daughter (with the swearing edited out!). Then stop shaving your own legs for a while. Show her that her body is nothing to be ashamed of and she can make her own choices about it.
Or veet your 8 yo. Your call.
Wow! Impressive post. I confess to not having bothered with my legs for a long time, and she doesn’t like those either. But underarms are a different matter – I just couldn’t get away with that without a can of deoderant a day. Thanks though for the post, I share the sentiment and it’s food for thought
As my big sister would say OMG
She’s seven, some people are hairy so aren’t.
What’s wrong with knee high White socks and a talk on how everyone is different.
Do you not think the children who noticed her legs I’m the first place won’t tease her because she shaves them?
Rather than trying to fix the problem maybe you should arm her with the tools to deal with it, no on is perfect and people will always be able to find something to tease you about!
I with the lady who said you should grow your legs hairy! Hehe
X x
Now that was an interesting post, wasn’t it? Yes, I think the knee-highs may be coming back for a bit 🙂
Sorry for my very ranty reply!
Not really aimed at you but the world in general.
To much is placed upon how we look and it makes me
MAD that children are being exposed to those feelings at an ever moving earlier age.
🙂
X x
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18260133
In the news today 🙂
That’s really interesting! How funny it should come at exactly the same time as this issue for us. I think it’s a great idea that children learn that everyone is different, and that the way they look doesn’t make them who they are. And the younger the better if it teaches respect and tolerance. Thanks!
Oh gosh, this takes me back. I am one of the fluffier people in life, well on my arms and legs. It’s all very fair, but it is there – except it isn’t, because I started shaving my legs when I was around 10 or 11 I think. I can’t remember the exact age, but I can remember the experience, as I had ‘borrowed’ my mum’s razor and then made a right hash up of the shin on my left leg. I told her I fell over. I hadn’t been bullied, there were a few of us fluffies at primary school and it wasn’t really a big issue back in the day, but I remember looking at the legs of girls without much hair and wishing my legs were like theirs!!
Personally, I think 7 is too young and that it is important to ensure that your child feels confident with who they are. But then, I know it is a tough world for kids out there at the moment. My daughter is too young for me to know whether she is going to be a fluffy too, but I’ll watch and see how things pan out for you, so I am armed and ready if she does develop a fine downy coat!!
oh this is a tough one! Children always point each other out for what makes them ‘different’. I shaved my legs younger than I probably needed to because of this peer pressure, though I think I was a couple of years older than 8. An early bloomer, I was in bras by the end of primary school and rather than being able to feel proud of reaching puberty, yup you guessed it it was just another thing to be teased for.
I think maybe its best to hold on to your guns and see if it fades in a couple of years like you believe it will?
If I were your Mom I will not allow you to shave your legs at that early age. You can actually shave your legs when you’re in thirteen. Your skin is not matured yet. I shaved my legs when I was fifteen.
Had this exact issue with my dd last weekend. She has had hairy legs since about three I even brought her to GP about it. At least we got to 12 b4 she wanted to do anything. I tried really hard to convince her to wax and bought an epilator 4 her but she couldn’t stick it so eventually used a foil shaver. She was so happy to have smooth legs.
Oh thanks for your comment. I can’t think of a good reason not to let her really, apart from knowing what a grind it is, and how she shouldn’t be bogged down with it at her age, but if it makes her feel more confident in herself then it’s not such a big deal is it?
It’s certainly a tough one! Bernard and I had the same discussions when she was about 9 or 1o. The leg issue was dealt with by using knee high sock for that summer, after that we were into tights and long trousers and so the issue was dealt with for another year. We did lots of talking about body image and beauty and how other peoples opinion was unimportant. It doesn’t always work and we had tears at times, as everyone does. She has a couple of rogue hairs on her lip, which she was born with and that was a much more major issue. They were very unkind about it at school after about 8 years old and so I agreed to do something about it. We used a removal cream which seemed ok, although I hate that we gave into bully’s – her happiness was more important in the short term than taking a social stand. The one thing we did was always talk about it, openly and infront of dad and brother so that they were aware of how she felt. I in fact pointed it out to her sometimes with a cheery “do you want to take that off before school?” as I was conscious that she may not have realised and I didn’t want her to have a hard time. It may well be a whimp out to bow to the convention but it wasn’t my place to make her stand on a soap box about image – she was hurting and upset.
I hope you can find a way to help GG out. Bullying is shit, and I hate that children do it. I don’t doubt that she is a beautiful. clever and outgoing girl who will achieve great things in life and in years to come will look down of those poor sad image obsessed bimbos and laugh, because she is a kind and caring person who doesn’t judge people by the colour of their coat or the hairiness of their legs!
Thank you Mary for such a thoughtful and helpful comment. I’m actually going to print if off for her to read – I don’t think I could put it into better words. I was happy to go ahead at one point this week, but all the input has made me stand back and see that if I can help her realise that it’s not an ideal solution, then that might be better for the time being. Her biggest problem is her arms as it’s quite dark there, but I was the same, and as soon as I hit my teens it thinned out and wasn’t a problem so I’m hoping the same will be true for her.
So many great replies!! I cant really add any more to what i said yesterday and in my post, but i think you have a wonderful mummy for being so understanding and well done to you for having the courage to discuss it with her. I wish you both luck and am sure you will reach the decision which is best for both of you cx
I haven’t read all the comments but I had dark hairy legs as my Mum was very understnading, I can’t remember how old I was but she explained about shaving and how if I did it I’d have to carry on forever as they grow back darker and wirey, and she said about cream but how it’s horrible and stinks! I chose not to do anything for a while and then eventually decided I wanted to shave and have been doing it ever since – I remember coming to the conclusion that I’d have to do it sooner or later so I may as well get on with it!
Thanks Emma, that is exactly how I”m playing it with GG. I want it to be her decision. She is considering her options at the moment, including the option to do nothing and deal with it emotionally rather than physically. I have to say I’m rather proud of her for taking her time thinking things through.
I really hate shaving my legs, my friend “Che-Ann” do try it and it comes a crazy hairy one…
Nice post. This is a real tough one, but you’re doing the right thing by thinking it through and seeking different opinions. Thanks for sharing.
No, but it is important not to use a razor for too long. Once it has been used for a couple weeks, it should be thrown out and replaced to prevent razor burn and other skin irritations. It is also sanitary to replace them every so often.
Bless. I had a boy that teased me – but ironically he was the hairest boy ever. To be honest I think he would have just found something else wrong/someone else. Growing up is hard.
Interesting reading through all the replies. My two daughters are also very hairy. Especially arms and legs. My nearly 7 year old has the longest hairs I have ever seen on her arms. Thick and very silky. I am praying they thin out at some stage. It seems strange to think they may thin out at puberty as most people say the opposite but I have been told by a few mothers this happened to their daughters so fingers crossed! Some of you will be horrified but I have been veeting her legs for about the last 2 months. Her entire leg is hairy and she was refusing to go to swim classes because of all the looks (adults even) were giving her. She is only going to do be getting rid of the hair herself in a few years time anyways. It has made the world of difference to her. We are leaving all other areas at this time. People need to realise there is “hairy” and “hairy”. My daughter doesnt have the light fine hair other 6 year old girls have on their body. Pre-children, there is no way I would have ever said my daughter would be removing body hair at this age. I would have thought any mother that did that was a touch mad. But here we are. Our children need to know that their problems matter to us. Im not happy about it but I dont want this hair to ruin her life. I think its a personal decision and one only you and your daughter can make.
Thank you for commenting over here. I totally agree that in a few years they will all be doing it so it’s really not such a big deal if she starts now. We are having some success with the clippers so she is happy for now, but if it becomes an issue again I want her to know she can tell me and I’ll help her, as you say. Their self-esteem is just about to go through the mill in the pre-teen and teen years, as parents we need to do everything we can to show them their feelings are valued. Thanks again and good luck.
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I know this post was a few years ago, but I am going through something similar with my daughter and was wondering how it turned out? My 7 year old has been asking to shave and making sad little comments about her hairy legs for a year already. She has thick, black hair covering her legs. She is very girly, loves wearing pink dresses and lots of accessories all the time. The leg hair is a constant source of sadness for her. My stepdaughter is 13 and just started shaving a couple months ago…even then, she barely ever does it. But she is a blonde, and it is not noticeable at all. I myself started shaving at 9 years old because I was so embarrassed by the thick leg hair. I feel like she is way too young, but I don’t really know WHY I feel that way…because people with thin blonde hair on their legs says it’s too early? I was hoping for a second opinion, if you don’t mind. 🙂
Ok, so first, this is happening to a lot of girls – most of them I’d say, at some point. What we went through at 7, other girls are now struggling with at 10. So first is to reassure her that it’s normal. Next, I know what you mean about feeling like you should prevent it but not having a good answer as to why. All I can say, is my motivation was to make sure she felt confident, and if that meant doing something I culturally felt wasn’t right, it was worth it for her sake.
What we did in the end was use hair clippers, on a low setting, so we shortened the hair rather than removing it. Hers is blonde, but was long, so making it shorter felt better for her. Then, one day when I was waxing my legs for a holiday, she asked to try, and I used a strip on her. She hated it, and we stuck with the clippers for probably another year. Then she tried again, and tolerated it, and so now we wax for holidays, and if she’s doing something where she feels particularly self-conscious. That said, she thinks it’s a faff, so now that we’ve done it a few times, she’s less bothered, and only really asks for beach holidays or pool parties. A bit like me! She tells anyone who asks that she can’t be bothered, but that she’ll wax when she feels like it. We probably started that when she was nine, and I’d say we’ve done it a total of 6 times – she’s now 11.
So try the clippers maybe, and if she’s still not happy, go for it. There’s nothing worse than a lack of confidence about your body at that age. Good luck 🙂
Is hair ugly or does it serve a purpose? I won’t judge any person for choosing their own path on this one but I do know if you don’t shave you never trip over the hair. Which may mean folks judge me.
It is sad that for whatever reason young girls value themselves by appearance so much over what is inside. A general point, not one regarding your family
I agree Kate, it is incredibly sad, and I’m sure that’s what my mum had in her mind when she gave my worries no credence or attention. But like it or not, we live in the society we live in, and though we should certainly try to fight to change it, I think we also need to help our children navigate what’s there at the moment. Interestingly, my daughter is going through a phase of ‘If they don’t like my eyebrows that’s their lookout,’ which is refreshing, but the minute she feels a need to change something, I want her to know that I’m on her side with that, so I can guide her on what’s sensible to do, and safe, and what’s not. I don’t judge anyone (except those who judge me 😉 ), like you I think people should be respected for however they live their lives, as long as it’s legal and not causing harm.
“explained that once you start shaving your legs, you have to do it forever, because they grow back thicker and darker and I had shaved my arms when I was young and that’s why my arm hairs are even darker.”
Aw, sorry, thought it was a myth. It happens even shaving your arms? Hair is ok, I think no need to be self conscios, but all those people, men and women, teasing others for hair…
But if you don’t like it you can keep shaving, althiugh I think it’s a myth.