By Helen, to Jason…
M&D 2000
My wedding vows to you…
Things I have learned in 13 years of marriage.
Marriage is not hearts and flowers. That is romance. It is not expensive dinners and weekends in the country. That is courtship. Although our weekends in the country usually involved a rainy football match in Swindon. I think you’d call that love.
Marriage is not white dresses and diamond rings, canapés or cake. (Although cake, it has to be said, is of vital importance to most things).
Marriage is not a happy ending. It is socks on the floor, coffee rings on the table, dirty dishes and bin duty. It is cash-flow, DIY and missing keys.
Marriage isn’t easy. I know you know that kids, because you hear it being not very easy quite often. The things that grown-ups find to argue about must seem faintly ridiculous to you, when there is bedroom territory to be guarded, the issue of which McDonald’s toy belongs to whom, and who took the last orange straw.
But in fact you get involved in the ups and downs of marriage in your own inimitable ways. “Yeah Daddy, ‘cos Mummy said so…” makes Daddy laugh, and the heat in my temporary fury fizzles out.
Jason, with these things in mind I promise:
- To notice that you are stacking the dishwasher, rather than analyse the way you are stacking it.
- To celebrate your flair and individuality in fashion choices. Although I reserve the right to travel separately if you ever again wear turquoise and orange trainers.
- To always take your side when you argue with your boss.
- To refrain from comment at the way the laundry basket always seems to be full. You like clean jeans. That’s a good thing.
- Never to tell anyone that you can’t keep it together during the Incredible Journey. Or any other film concerning animals. Or children, for that matter.
- To ride rollercoasters with you, whenever you need me to.
I will do these things because I see how hard you try to understand my need for clean and tidy, even if you can’t quite manage it. Because you let me lie in at weekends. Because you never complain about having to do 3 extra runs to the shop for dinner ingredients I have forgotten. Because you never have man flu. Because you tell everyone how proud you are of me, my parenting, my work. Because you hold my hand when I am scared. Because it is plain for everyone to see how much you love our children.
Because this is marriage. It’s a 2-way deal between best friends. And I couldn’t wish for better. x
oohhhh how so very very true. love the first one. In this house its hubs that has the ocd about just about everything. Love the bit about travelling separately. Good luck for the next 13 years.
arguing over the last orange straw…..guess you need to find packs of just orange…..pmsl
😀
Yep, all of the above. Except roller coasters. Never that. Congratulations and so sorry to have missed it x
Ah we missed you xx
That is so lovely. Congratulations. Hope you had a wonderful day! 🙂
Helen, reading this has left me with goosebumps&sobbing like an idiot! I loved reading this and it made me think about how lucky I am but probably spend too much time moaning about the annoying stuff rather than celebrating the positives! Congratulations to you both and thanks for a wonderful evening, we had such a wonderful time xxxx p.s You looked bloody amazing yesterday, gorgeous! Xxxxxx
Ah thank you – and thank you for being part of our lovely group of friends
Aww this really made me well up. Such beautiful vows and so so real x
A lovely post.
Awesome! ANd so much better than my suggestion to high 5 his good luck at landing such a babe and then licking his face!
🙂
This is just perfect – you have summed up what a real marriage is like, bin duty and dishwasher stacking included.
Congrats on the renewal of your vows. Wishing you many, many more happy years together.
Thank you x
So I vowed to comment on your blog – not sure whether I said every post, more often or just more?! So this is a good start? Had an amazing day and soooo lucky I’m married to such an awesomely amazing blogger, wife and mum!
And I to someone who gets it 😉
What a wonderful post – so many people should take inspiration from this 🙂 I hope you had a wonderful day.
I can’t wait to go to lots of similar events now 😉
Lovely vows, I hope you all had a wonderful time x
Such a lovely heartfelt and honest post – you guys sound fab together 🙂
p.s love that Jason can’t keep it together for the incredible journey – so sweet!
Sweet. Yes, I must try to remember that before I dissolve into guffaws 😉
Blooming well said. I agree a marriage is something to be cherished, rejoyed and worked at. Here’s to 13 years and here’s to many, many more
Thanks Jen x
Awww Helen, perfectly summed up.
I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday and am so sorry I couldn’t make it. x
Oh that is lovely it sounds like you have a good man there appart from the trainer colour. I hope that you both had a most wonderful day.
What a beautiful post and so true. That is all exactly what marriage is about. Yours sounds scarily like ours (although I would be the one wearing the brightly coloured trainers) and we’ve been married 13 years too. Hope you had an amazing day yesterday.
This may have made me shed a little tear. This is all so true. Happy 13 years of marriage and here’s to a lot more!
Awww……that’s very lovely. I should promise mine that I’ll notice if he ever loads the dishwasher, because I assure you, I’d definitely notice. I’ve been waiting 7 years… :p
Awwww this is so so lovely. Congratulations to the both of you xx
You have a man who puts his laundry IN to the basket?? You lucky woman. Gorgeous post – thanks for sharing. And I feel priviledged to have had a sneaky pic at the more up-to-date shots yesterday, thanks!
Was lovely to see you xx
Oh Helen, you’ve got me in tears! This is such a beautiful post.
I do think it will be hard to stick to the dishwasher promise though!
xxx
I know, I’m doing well so far – honeymoon period and all that 😉
This is really lovely Helen an I couldn’t agree with you more. Marriage is not all about hearts and flowers it’s about navigating life with your best friend by your side – a true gift. Marriage can be very hard work at times but it’s worth it. Congrats on your ‘new’ marriage, sounds like you’ve got a keeper there 😉
Thanks Suzanne x
That’s lovely Helen. Felt quite choked up. All that stuff at the top is just weddings, not marriage. Well said 🙂 So glad you had a good day x
🙂 x
Have laughed and cried at these vows – how beautiful and so pleased you had such a lovely time. Congratulations and you both look beautiful x
you look so beautiful. Congratulations xx
Congratulations super vows
That’s just lovely.
wonderful!! this is lovely x
Loved reading the vows in this! Congratultions!
Thank you 🙂
How utterly lovely! xx
Brilliant and so very true. Tolerance and compromise with a massive dash of fun thrown in for good measure. Mich x
Love this post – made me giggle and get a bit emotional. Perfectly captures marriage.
Thank you – it does doesn’t it? 😉
I remember reading this before and it brought a tear to my eye. This really is what marriage is all about – the good and the bad, sticking together as a team whatever life throws. And trying to notice the good rather than ALWAYS focusing on the bad! My OH went food shopping last night and after having the most hectic day ever (including a 10 mile bike ride for Team Honk!) i just berated him for spending too much money and buying quiche, which I hate! Oh dear. Massive fail 🙁 Must.Try.Harder. Thanks for linking up 🙂
I would have done the same. It’s hard to remember day to day isn’t it 🙂
What a lovely post. I feel exactly the same about my hubby & marriage. It’s far from glam, easy and rosy but it’s so very worth it 🙂
Thank you 🙂
You have managed to make me cry!
Apologies 🙂