For as long as you’ve known her, you’ve been the centre of her world. Whatever she needs, you’ve had it covered. You’ve overseen her milestones, and helped her navigate her friendships. She’s found her way through nursery, and flown solo without you there to see her triumphs. But now it’s time for starting school: a totally different ball game; a six-hour day without you. Not only that, but a day where 29 other children are also looking for the attention of a single stranger. And get this: that stranger is not there to play, cuddle and nurture; she is there to educate.
Who is the most scared..?
Mummy has noticed lots of chatter recently about the nerves of starting school. And remembering the summer before my first foray into the classroom, she is tempted to feel smug. I however, have reminded her just what a stress-bucket she was in the six weeks before my Reception year, as I ‘partied’ all night, lit the fuse to massive meltdowns, and deepened my relationship with the naughty step. A night-time medical issue drove her to seek advice from the doctor, who announced that as far as I was concerned, an earthquake was about to hit, and she should cut me some slack.
Needless to say, starting school was no-where near as cataclysmic as I had indicated, and with 2 lots of playground initiation procedures behind her, Mummy now feels qualified to proffer some advice for other parents building up to the big day. First of all, you need to know this:
YOUR CHILD WILL BE FINE!
But if you are still worried, there are some fabulous child-friendly tips for starting school over on Sunny Side Up, the blog of the lovely children’s author Clara Vulliamy. She sent us a copy of Martha and the Bunny Brothers, and it brought back all my own memories of starting school. If I had had this book back then, I might not have been so concerned about what the Bug would get up to in my room while I was out! I also spotted that my old pal Blue Kangaroo is starting school, which makes sense, given that he’s been on my bookshelves since I was about 2. And if you fancy getting some writing practice try Hello Kitty!
Now, onto the really important stuff. Starting school: what parents need to know.
5 School Rules for parents:
- Establish a routine: you know those mornings where you are still in pj’s when the second post comes? A thing of the past. Kiss those babies goodbye until the half-term holidays and get ahead of the game. Set the alarm – today! From now on, breakfast is a route-march through the cereal cupboard via the wardrobe. Get it right now, and you may even be able to navigate your first visit to the playground with a dash of mascara. Don’t try and find time for a shower though – that’s only for the professionals.
- Get up early: always overestimate how long it will take you to get ready. You will forget water bottles. The baby will poo/scream/demand food just as you open the front door. You will fail to notice your daughter’s inappropriate hair decoration until 8.25am. When (not if) the noise levels in your hallway exceed health and safety regulations, take comfort from knowing that half the population is yelling at their children at exactly the same time as you. They will all return home feeling like the worst parent ever, and they will all sink into the comfort of a doughnut. Remember this, and go easy on yourself.
- Walk away: hug your child on the playground, hand over the day’s necessities, and grin wildly as your baby crosses the threshold of the classroom for the first time. Then turn around, walk away, and don’t look back. Do not enter the classroom under any circumstances. Resist the shameless endeavours of your child to entice you in there. Show any sign of weakness and it’s all over; you can count on weeks of having your child ripped forcibly from your arms, whilst other parents tut and blame you for the tearful mob chain-reaction that ensues. You will never be invited back to be a classroom-helper, and you will forfeit the thank-you begonia at the end of the year.
- Stop ironing: However smart your child looks as he leaves the house, he will always return home looking like he spent the day crumpled at the bottom of a sweaty PE bag, left casually under the painting table. And as for white-board pen, it may well come off whiteboards, but it clings to uniform like a barnacle, so don’t even try. Top tip: keep one perfect shirt, still wrapped, ready to whip out on school photo day, or for your angel’s appearance in class assembly.
- Wing it: Don’t even attempt to make yourself look presentable on the playground. That’s what pick-up is for, when you’ve had just enough time to reconstruct yourself and the house, and can make it back to the classroom door looking normal. Yummy Mummies, in our experience, don’t exist; no-one looks good on the playground. If you find someone who does, avoid them at all costs; they will just make you want to eat extra doughnuts. When pushed, Mummy has always found that shoving a fleece and joggers over her nightie leaves others marvelling at her ability to fit in an exercise regime.
So that’s it. All you need to know about starting school. Once you’ve navigated the first hurdle, come back and tell us what’s next on your agenda. Chances are we’ve been there too, and will have a take on it…
Excellent school rules for parents! Wish I’d been sat down and told all that when my two were starting school (I made ALL those mistakes, double). And yes, ‘go easy on yourself’ is absolutely right!
And them too. I forgot to mention that TV is your best friend in those early weeks when they return home having done “nothing” and are so exhausted they can do nothing but scream until teatime!
*plans next post*
Heh heh Yummy Mummies don’t exist 😀
Great tips Hellums (that’s your new nickname) x
Did you mean Heliums?? 😉
I love tip number five – a top tip indeed and one I’m going to do my best to remember.
Absolutely genius – after a few years of experience ‘everything she says’!!
Won’t stop me being a quivering wreck in a couple of months when I attempt to CHANGE my children’s schools – eeek!!
Stuff does really freak us mums out, doesn’t it? Good luck 🙂
Thank you for this 🙂 I am doing this for the first time and have been feeling for weeks like I’m the only one that didn’t get the memo – and now I’ve found it on your blog! You rock x
Hope it helps. And just remember, they are about 10 times less upset than they try to make out…
Hehe, this is us trying to get out the front door even without school. I love the spare shirt tip. Z usually scuffs everything in about 30 seconds of putting it on!
I could never work out why mine was the only child in a grey old t-shirt, until someone let me in on the secret
Super tips .. Can you come and be a parent at my school x
Way back when, my son loved kindergarten, but when he started grade one, it was heart wrenching for me. He cried everyday for the entire year, not wanting to enter school, he just wanted his mom. Funny thing is though, once he got behind the school doors he was fine (according to his teacher), but it just pulled at my heart-strings to watch him cry his eyes out.
This week he starts university, and there is no crying whatsoever, he may be a tad frightened but he hasn’t shared that with me.
I know of several children who were like that – and I was in the classroom helping so I know they were ok! They just liked to let their Mum’s know what they thought of being left there! There were so many Mums in tears outside the classroom that eventually the teacher covered the windows with poster paper so the kids couldn’t see them!
Off to get the TV ‘ready’ now… 😉
It’s the perfect excuse!
Brilliant! Such a great post x
Thank you – I enjoyed writing it 🙂
What a great post. x
Thank you 🙂
Brilliant. Made me smile. My daughter went back to school for the first time this year after suffering from a serious illness since Christmas. I think we were both nervous. I can’t wait until pick up time! I’m sure I should be enjoying the silence though….
Oh, I hope she’s ok now? I’m not surprised you were nervous – I was excited to go and find out about their days, but when I got there they said they couldn’t remember what they did! Hope your daughter enjoyed her first day back
Some very worthy advice there even for a second timer! Amazing how quickly you forget!
Oh do you have a new starter this year???
Fantastic post, made me laugh….and made me thank the stars above that my kids get the school bus, helping me swerve a few pitfalls. Though I’ve tripped up on all the other stuff – apart from the ironing. Never any danger of that happening!
Love your comment about reluctant school-starters being 10 times less upset than they make out. So true ! x
Oh yes, they really are very good actors! Thanks for coming over 🙂
What great tips! An excellent read as always and very smart school shoes.
I always do my hair and makeup for the school run, it’s not a case of wanting to be a yummy mummy, I just don’t want to scare the *#?& out of the children haha 🙂
Lovely post x
Fair point. Reaches for mascara
Thanks for all the top tips, I’ll be needing them on Monday! 🙂
Thanks for all the top tips, i’ll be needing those on Monday! 🙂
Ah, good luck with it, and don’t forget – your fleece goes over your pj’s 😉
Fantastic reassuring advice. Great post.
Some very sage advice from you as always my dear – particularly the *sod the ironing* bit…though I never actually do that, so am clearly going to be taking that advice! Winging it is also very wise…as for the sneaky joggers – will be trying that on now! 😉 Thanks for linking up to my Parenting Tips Linky as well…hopefully others will enjoy a giggle, and get some good advice too 😀 xx