Wot So Funee? All your kids!

It began last week with an erroneous tweet from Mummy. “Does anyone have an example of things children say that make you laugh?” she confidently intoned from the spaghetti junction that is her Tweetdeck account. She has a few twitter accounts – she chose the wrong one.

The first response came back:

Swiftly followed by:

Now, @Ollie91 blogs, but he is by no means a Mummy Blogger. It has something to do with being a 2nd year Uni student. So Mummy got to thinking that there must be loads of people (who don’t regularly see fit to write a post about the funny things kids say and write and link it up over here) with funny quips and quotes from the kids. So she asked again, and she asked everywhere. And the quotes came in – thick and fast:

• E has a Spica cast for her hip dysplasia. Did you know they come in different colours? Hers is purple. On seeing a black and white dog she tells her Mummy she is purple and white and Mummy is just white! Her cast is simply now an extension of her!! (Emma and 3)
• Seasider in the City said Jacob said the other day that he only likes tomatoes in sauce or black tomatoes – you know the ones that make BBQ sauce!
• Dorky Mum says that the political training of her offspring did not go well whilst watching the Queen’s diamond Jubilee celebrations: “I think my fave was when he looked at Camilla and asked ‘mummy, why does that lady have a pancake on her head?’
• Erin’s quote: After eating the chocolate and orange off of a jaffa cake tonight: ‘Mommy, this jaffa cake piece looks just like toast, but not hot.’
• “Mummy – if I have a poo will that stop my hiccups?” (Jo)

Sometimes it is just a case of twisted logic, like at Bloggomy, when my younger son asked why breasts were not called ‘chesticles’ – seems a fair question 😉 I love the way kids think outside the box… same son mentioned above asked “DO we know the hair we are going to die with” which seemed a little bizarre but what he meant was when he was an old gentleman would he have grey or white hair, be bald, no hair, etc.

Or Debbie’s ‎”We can’t buy that toilet roll. It’s for dogs.” 3yo in supermarket at Andrex. And the unfathomable Lola, from Bad Fiction: Mummy my eyes are cold, I need an apple.

Then there are the kids who have perfected the eyeroll technique (my favourite kind):

• Domestic Goddesque has raised a good one – When DH couldn’t work the in car DVD last week, LBG said “Dad, you just don;t get it, do you?” and sighed.
• Alex from Second Time Mummy could easily have attended the GG school of disdain:  When I told Alex “Mummy has a baby in her tummy” he burst in to tears before demanding “Spit it out mummy…quick!” Then the other day the 4 of us  were sat in the lounge when I asked ‘do you think there will always be just 4 of us or do you think we will ever have more babies in the house?’ Alex was thinking it all through and OH said I think there should be 6 of us. Ellissia who can’t even talk yet made a sound like the word “two” and Alex tutted and said “well it’s a bit late for that!” complete with tut and sigh!
• It seems the ‘baby in the tummy’ story doesn’t go down well with many toddlers: A Matter of Choice says When I told Leo I had a baby in my tummy, he said WHY did you eat it Mummy? You need eat breakfast not baby’

You might also want to watch what you say around us kids – you never know when we might use it against you: ‎“My mummy’s bottom is white” – in the playground last week, as we’d just come back from 2 weeks in Furteventura. I was *so* proud to hear that third hand. (Cambridge Mummy). And KiddyCharts definitely need a toddler-o-meter when out in public. Says Helen How about announcing to a crowded station just as we got off the train into London, “Mummy, I am wearing pants today.” And, my daughter used to call “chocolate”, “c**khead” when she was little – she could quite get the word out right you see…wonderful when you asked her what flavour ice-cream she was after!

Then there are the just pure and simple cute things that make us awwwww rather than giggle. The other day I had a necklace on (rare event) and Joseph 3 said “oh mummy that necklace is pink and sparkly, its very beautiful and it makes you look very pretty!” I am liking Joseph from Not Even a Bag of Sugar. He may be required to give lessons in parent manipulation to J from A Mummy Too, who says “I love you most of all when you let me do what I want” – ahh, the charmer.

Finally, and just to prove that there is at least one person who can say whatever she wants to the Lady and Leader of the Tots100 without fear of hurtling into the abyss of blogger limbo, Sally Whittle says:  I woke up at 5am today with Flea next to me. “I got into your bed in my pyjamas, Mummy, but then I secretly got naked.” Which was nice.

Oh, and Wot So Funee? wouldn’t be Wot So Funee? without a bad dream from the Actually household:

The Bug: “Last night I had a nightmare – about Firefox”

Happens all the time…